Christmas update

December 9, 2011

Christmas is almost upon us and what a different Christmas this will be for us from last year.  We were in and out of the hospital at this time last year and Josie’s MRI in January had showed us that the particular chemo she was on was not working like they wanted it to on her tumor.  Now fast forward 10-11 months on a new chemo regiment and the tumor is still there, but responding to this chemo (as of August’s MRI).  Praise God for this encouragement. 

Josie will be having another MRI in January (date not scheduled yet) and we will see then what the tumor is doing.  Our prayer is that the tumor will be drastically reduced and we can have a better management plan of what needs to happen next.  At this point, her doctor has scheduled us for 6 more months of chemo.

We haven’t posted in quite a long time and you can assume in these quiet times that things with Josie are going fairly smoothly.  But…since we haven’t posted in so long, here are some highlights of what has been going on in her life and ours.

Many have asked about Josie’s reflux issues and many have told me that they are praying specifically for this problem.  Thank you!  Reflux continues to be the outward sign of the many complicated issues going on inside Josie’s body.  We have been told that her reflux may be caused by neurological disconnects and that it may not respond to typical treatments.  We have also found that reflux is cyclical, which means at certain (or uncertain) times Josie will have a break from her reflux and then it will start again.  We experienced one of these breaks for about 3-4 weeks in October and November.  We thought that a new med we started her on in October was the answer, but now realize that it was coincidental to the end of a cycle.  After her reflux started up again in mid-November, the doctors had us up her dose of this new med.  Now we know the medicine does work and has minimized her reflux, although it has not stopped it. 

The other significant aspect to this new medicine is that the med is typically prescribed to help low tone in muscles.  In Josie’s case, the med was not prescribed for that purpose, but we have seen a huge improvement in the movement of Josie’s left arm since starting the medication.  We count this as a real blessing and we think Josie does too!  She is so pleased with herself when she gets her left arm up and can clap or pat it with her right hand.  We have started Occupational Therapy for the left arm and our hope is that we will see some real progress in movement and strength. 

The newest development is in her mobility.  She has learned the fine art of rolling over – from her tummy to her back.  At times she needs a little assistance, but is starting to do it all on her own.  The pride in her eyes is priceless when she finally gets herself over and realizes it was her own strength that rolled her over.  She also wants to get moving in the worst way.  We have been working with her by putting her on her hands and knees.  As soon as we put her in this position, she starts rocking herself as if she would like to crawl.  Her left side is weak, so we are supporting her the whole time she is in this position, but she is getting stronger and hopefully she will be able to support herself soon. 

At Physical Therapy, they are working on getting her body moving and they are doing that by making her walk on the tread mill!  When the therapist told me she was going to put her on the tread mill, I was a bit skeptical, but they have this cool harness contraption that Josie kind of hangs from this while the therapist helps her move her feet.  She really likes this exercise and is starting to put a little effort of her own into moving her right foot, her left is going to need more support and help.   

If you have seen pictures of Josie lately or seen her in person, she is now sporting a pretty pink helmet with lots of butterflies on it.  Josie’s neuro-surgeon prescribed a helmet for her to wear to help shape her head as well as keeps her soft spot safe.  When we went to Mary Free Bed to have her scanned to get a helmet made, the orthotist was a bit uncertain of how to do a helmet for her because he has never made one for a child that did not have part of their skull.  He was also not sure that a helmet would even mold her head, since most babies are between 3-8 months for the best possible shaping time and Josie was just getting fit for one at 15 months.  We just had her first size check and her head has moved 3mm in just 2 months time!  It’s working!

We were worried that Josie would absolutely hate her helmet, since she really dislikes hats on her head.  As I was on my way in to the first trying on of the helmet, I realized that I had not given this fear/worry over to God and right then and there gave it to Him.  The orthotist brought in the helmet and from the very first time he put it on her, Josie LOVED it!  As soon as it was strapped on, she took her little fist and banged on it and then broke out into huge smiles!  Answered prayer!!!  She wears the helmet 23 hours a day and she has not cried a bit about it. 

As for teaching Jo to eat, we moved our therapy to Mary Free Bed’s feeding therapy program.  The therapy started in September, with therapy twice a week.  This past week Josie was discharged from therapy.  Josie hasn’t learned to eat yet, but we have learned a lot along the way of how to help get past the aversions of touch to her mouth.  Food is going to come down the way for her.  Since she gets chemo every two weeks, we were going one step forward and then one step backwards because her stomach would get rocked from the chemo and we’d have to start the process over.  We feel we have been given the right tools to continue on without therapy and can maintain the things we have learned.  Plus…that free’s up our schedule quite a bit, which is refreshing for a change.

Josie is developing in such fun ways right now.  We had mentioned previously in a post that she was starting to say “ma-ma”.  Then within a day or two of that post, she regressed and wouldn’t say it anymore.  So much for a proud “ma-ma”!  Now in the past few weeks, she has started to say it again and this time we can tell she understands that she is communicating with us. 

Her personality is really coming out as well and we have found that this kiddo has quite the sense of humor and is a bit mischievous!  She will grab a toy on her high chair tray and wave it around while we watch her and then as soon as we aren’t paying attention anymore, she throws it overboard and then smiles and laughs at the “trick” she just played on us.   I remember our other girls going through this stage, but for Josie it is a real milestone for interacting with us. 

Time to bring things to a close, I could go on and on about the many aspects of this sweet baby.   We are so thankful for the progress she has made and the loving nature that she has throughout all of the things she is going through. 

We are looking forward to a wonderful Christmas of celebrating another baby – the most important baby, Jesus.  We couldn’t be where we are without Him.  We are blessed!

Merry Christmas,

Marc & Darcia

Specialists...

September 26,  2011

September is going by so fast!  School started and we have seen almost every specialist that Josie has during this month.  Makes for very busy days and weeks.

Josie is doing well and seems to be turning some developmental milestones, of which we are so extremely excited to see.  She has started really sitting up on her own - for long periods of time.  Once she gets leaning to the left though, she can't catch herself due to the weakness in her left arm.  So even though she is sitting, we are still right next to her the whole time, she doesn't need any bumps and bruises from falling over.  As for her speech, she has started to say "mama"...not necessarily related to her actual mama. :)  She uses the "mama" sound for when she is happy and babbling as well as when she is hopping mad.  We've started to hear a few other sounds, but that is the main one right now, I must say, it is precious to hear!  As for other things she is doing, she is starting to love the simple baby games, such as peek-a-boo and leaning backwards because she wants to go upside down and she is learning that she can make fun sounds by pounding her hand and foot on things.  These are all great things to see her start doing and does our hearts good to see her learning and developing.

The reflux issue is back with a vengeance.  We had quite some time where the reflux was hardly happening - we weren't even carrying burp rags around with us anymore.  Then one week it started up again - nothing changed in her care, but it came back and has been non-stop.  Mornings are the worst and tend to be more painful and traumatic to Josie with lots of crying.  This last week has been a bit worse because she also got a cold and the drainage made her reflux more than usual, plus we were having to wipe her nose too.

Today Josie went in for an Upper-GI to see if something was triggering her reflux.  They do this under fluoroscopy and inject barium into her stomach through her g/j tube.  The procedure was going along fine, aside from Josie not caring for being strapped to a board and being turned almost upside down, but then they decided to add a little more barium to her stomach for better imaging.  It was like Josie was a volcano and barium came spewing out of her.  It was everywhere!  Needless to say, they got a good image of what happens when she refluxes!   Unfortunately, the PA that was doing the procedure said he didn't see anything out of the ordinary and that perhaps it is neurological.  Back to square one.

Last week we met with Josie's Neuro-surgeon that replaced her bone flap in her skull.  This was a follow-up visit to the surgery that was done in June, to see if her body was accepting the bone and healing.  As soon as he felt her head, he shook his head and said that the bone didn't take, her body was absorbing it.  We were definitely bummed, but thankfully God had already prepared us for this news.  Several weeks ago both Marc and I had started feeling soft spots on Josie's head and as the weeks continued the spots were getting softer.  We had a feeling that the bone hadn't taken and already had time to process this information - the doctor just confirmed it for us.  Aside from this news, the doctor was extremely pleased with Josie's development as well as he is in agreement with her oncologist that the chemo is working. 

What happens next?  Well, Josie now has the same soft spot, so we are just careful with her on that side and the doctor has ordered a helmet to be made for her.  Not so much for protection, but more as a shaping helmet.  Time will tell if it will mold her little noggin.

This week was her ophthalmologist appointment.  We have been worried about Josie's left eye for the last couple of months because it can tend to wander.  The girls have dubbed it "Josie's funky eye" thing.  Thankfully the eye doctor was very pleased with Josie's eyes and the progress she has made since the last time he saw her.  She does have some wondering in her left eye, but hopefully patching her eye for an hour or so each day should help strengthen her eyes.   She also has some peripheral damage, but at this point, he is just going to put it on the "watch and wait" list in her chart.  Her sight seems to be appropriate in all the other areas.  We are thankful for sure, now we just have to get her to leave her patch alone.

Over all, we are so glad to be home and getting into a routine of "normal" life.  We are praying that we will not have any unplanned hospital stays this year.  After this month, hopefully life will slow down - at least as far as appointments go.  

Josie is a true gift and we are blessed by her daily.  Thank you to all who are continuing to pray for us, we are still in need of it and know that God is hearing these prayers for us. 

Blessings,

Marc & Darcia

Home...so nice!

November 21, 2010

Josie is HOME!  On Friday the Oncologist for this week came in and said she didn’t see any reason that Josie couldn’t go home for a little while.  Even though she is on chemotherapy right now, these particular drugs are not the ones that will drop her blood counts.  News to us…but good news!  Josie’s reflux has also improved greatly since the last time I posted – we know without a doubt that this is due to God answering our (and your) prayers on behalf of this issue.   The 11-12 refluxes in an hour was pretty exhausting – for Josie and for us.  Along with these improvements, the doctor noted that Josie was not needing as much of the nurses care any longer – they were giving her medicine and other basic care, but the rest of the care came from me and Marc.  The Occupational, Physical and Speech therapists have showed us how do much of Josie’s therapy and felt they didn’t need to come see Josie as much since we were working with her so well.  I think we both should have new degrees once we get through all of this! 

Josie will need to go back to the hospital on November 30^th for a different chemo drug in this cycle.  This particular drug is the one in this cycle that will possibly drop her blood counts, so she will need to stay for a couple of weeks (so they say) to be watched in case her counts do go down. 

Once we arrived home yesterday and unloaded our bags of stuff that we accumulated over the past month, our house looked like it had been trashed!  In order to not have more chaos, Marc’s parents took the girls for the rest of the weekend – this took a bit of the stress level away.  Thankfully we had thought a little ahead of time and bought a 7 drawer storage bin yesterday morning.  The bin seemed huge when I brought it into the house, but we filled it completely with all of Josie’s supplies for her 9 day stay at home! 

We are administering two of Josie’s chemotherapy drugs, giving her a plethora of other medications (see picture that Marc posted today) and we have to flush her broviac central line every day.  We gave medications to Josie previously, but this time it is elevated to a whole new level.  Administering the chemo is a bit nerve racking, especially the first time, but we did it and are more than willing to do it since it means she can be home with us!

We continue to be amazed by how quickly things can change for Josie and we are extremely pleased to have Josie home even for a short time.  This Thanksgiving will truly be a thankful time for our family this year. 

Blessings,

Marc & Darcia

First round of Chemotherapy

November 9, 2010

Josie is handling chemotherapy pretty well so far.  She has started throwing up as of this last Friday morning.  Aunt Tara (my brother Josh’s wife) was staying overnight with Josie to give us a much needed break and ended up witnessing the first bout of yuck.  Josie has now thrown up multiple times, but the doctor does not think it is chemo related since it has been several days since her last dose and typically the nausea starts the day of or the day after treatment.  My belief is that she has started refluxing again – like she did while she was home with us.  They are keeping a close eye on her and are trying a couple different things to see if it helps her.  The main concern is they do not want her to get anything in her lungs and cause her to get sick.  Keep praying that she stays healthy as well as Marc and me.  If one of us gets sick, it means we cannot be up here with her and that would be downright rotten. L

Many people have asked about Josie’s treatment and what that looks like for a baby. The treatment that she is being given is part of a new treatment plan based out of a hospital in Los Angeles.  She receives 3 different chemotherapy drugs throughout the cycle.  One drug is a onetime dose the first day of the cycle, one drug is given once a week for 3 weeks of the cycle and the third drug is given for the first 5 days of the cycle.  Don’t quote me on all of this information, as we are still trying to wrap our minds around the whole process ourselves.  At day 7-10 of the cycle, Josie will probably be at her lowest point because her white blood cells will be low and it is harder to fight off infections.  Tomorrow starts day 7 of the cycle – they draw her blood levels every other day and will watch her closely.   After each cycle, she will probably have some type of scan done to see how the tumor is responding to treatment.  If after a couple of cycles they find that the tumor is not responding, they have another option of a 4 drug chemotherapy treatment.  It’s not necessarily a stronger treatment, just targeting the tumor differently.  At this point though, we just wait and pray.

Yesterday she had a surgical procedure done to place a broviac line in her chest.  This is a more permanent and safer port that she can have in for an extended period of time for chemotherapy.  Everything went fine with the procedure – it took a little longer since she is an infant and her veins are very tiny.  When the time comes for her to go home, the line will remain in and we will be able to use it to administer medication at home.

I had a glimpse of hope today as Josie looked at me and actually smiled and shortly after that gave me another smile along with some itty bitty coo's.  My heart melted, I must say!  It feels like things are clicking back into place for her - like she is coming out of the fog of all the surgery and drugs in her system.  When we thought we might lose her the night of her surgery, one of the only things that kept going through my mind, was her precious smile, the thought of not seeing that smile again tore me up.  I asked God that night, that if He spared Josie’s life that I might see her smile again.  Thank you God for answered prayer and proof that He cares about even the smallest things like a smile!

A friend of mine wrote me today and said, “I don’t know how to make sense of Josie’s suffering.”  I pondered her words for a while throughout the evening, my conclusion: I can't make sense of Josie's suffering either.  It makes it all the harder when I can't just pick up my baby and comfort her because I have to be so careful not to pull any wires and cords; and I can only hold her a certain way because she is missing part of her skull; and that sometimes picking her up to hold her makes her more uncomfortable than she was just lying in her bed.  Some days it stretches me extremely thin, yet each day, I realize that God has put Josie in our life and her life is for a reason, no matter how long or short her days may be on this earth.  God has a much bigger picture than I can ever understand, in fact he has the whole picture and every brush stroke of that picture is perfectly painted – including Josie.  With that truth, I am secure – it doesn’t mean we won’t have a lot of tears and heartache for our baby girl to have a “normal” life or even life in general.  The strokes seem harsh right now, but they are forever making the final picture glorious.  For right now though, I am looking at the beautiful brush stroke of a miraculous baby smile. 

Blessings (and hopefully a restful night here with Lil’ Jo),

Marc & Darcia