Happy Birthday Josie - 2 years old!

July 11, 2012

Josie woke us up at 3 something this morning, crying and having a fit when daddy tried to hold her and not mom.  Her teeth are coming through in a hurry and it is making for a miserable 2 year old.  At about the same time two years ago, this little lady was making her first appearance into our lives.  Maybe that's why she was up in the night...just a reminder to us that "here she is" and life will never be the same. 

I can't look back on the day Josie was born without getting caught up in the emotions of what took place that day.  I remember vividly watching the resident doctor come in to give us a report about the ultrasound that they had done earlier in the day.  I was all smiles as he started telling us about the procedure and still remember the moment when my lips began to quiver in fear and disbelief as the prognosis unfolded.  My heart breaks each time I replay the resident doctors words to us, "Your daughter has a tumor in her brain, it is the size of a racquetball.  I'm really sorry." 

I cried so hard that I am sure they heard me far down the hallway.  I only stopped crying so loudly because I had this thought occur that I didn't want to scare all the other new moms that were delighting in their new babies.  Babies that didn't have a tumor or have an uncertain future so early in their life. 

Marc was so strong during this time, he was visibly shaken and emotional, but somehow had the strength to calm and soothe me despite our world turning upside down.  The first phone call we received after the news, was from our neighbor and that was the first time Marc had to verbalize to anyone what we had just heard about our baby girl.  The emotion was raw and horrible.  Somehow putting it into words made everything real.

There's a little glimpse into the first day of Josie's life.  We have had many days similar to this one, almost losing her several times.  I had longed for a third baby for so long and had cried out to God for a child, but I had no idea what was in store when we finally made the decision to have another child.  As I replay the different days of uncertainty, yes, my heart hurts and would love to have never had to go through those difficult times, but I do know this, our pain and suffering is not in vain.  God is using Josie and our family for His glory and that is enough for me.  Do I like the pain?  NO.  But I have learned so much about who God is and who I am in Him that I would not trade this experience.

Josie is a true blessing.  Do I see it that way every single day?  No.  We are still in the midst of the battle, even though we are not in the trenches like we were.  Being tired is our constant mode, in fact Marc said this morning that we haven't caught up yet from the night she was born.  

The past two years have been long and hard, but Josie makes everything worth it.  For those that have never met her, she has the sweetest personality.  Her smile is brilliant and will make you smile too.  She is a social butterfly, people make her happy.  If she can have center stage, she will take it and live it up.  She is a mommy's girl, but loves her daddy like crazy (just not in the middle of the night or early morning, she wants mom then).  Her sisters...they are her constant entertainment and she lights up whenever she sees them.  Josie's laugh is priceless, she can really belly laugh (which unfortunately makes her reflux a short time later).  She can blow kisses and loves to hug.  One of my friends says she feels like she is hugging an angel when she holds Jo.  We feel the same sometimes, like she is a little glimpse of heaven.

We love to tell our story, so please don't hesitate to ask us how things are going or what is new in our life or Josie's.  The best part...this is not just our story, this is God's story.

Blessings,

Marc & Darcia

Attached are 3 messages, 2-part series from Greg Laurie (pastor in California) and one from our pastor Louie Konopka.  Both messages are about handling crises and suffering.  They are great for anyone to listen to...enjoy and be encouraged.

Hope for those facing Crisis 1 - Greg Laurie
http://www.harvest.org/includes/mp3/player.php?media_type=radio&id=3634&mid=3634
Hope for those facing Crisis 2 - Greg Laurie
http://www.harvest.org/includes/mp3/player.php?media_type=radio&id=3635&mid=3635

When Suffering Sandblasts Us - Louie Konopka

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sFlehD7Wp5Q&feature=em-share_video_user